My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. In America, anyone can become president. } catch (err) { "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. You should die first, get it out of the way. "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. Its totally FREE. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("grsession", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); 4994. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. We havent tried that for a while. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. They own everything. var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. its only a symbol. }; Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? //]]> If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. George Carlin. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. I've set my own rules to live by. And the supreme arrogance? googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); " Forget the politicians. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Nobody seems to care. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. So arrogant. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Weve added years to life, not life to years. How are YOU going to tackle today? What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Vicious Quotes Page 5. . Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. } They're imaginary. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? 2023 Inspirationfeed. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. Aw, hes a comedian. if (a[a9]) return; As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Source; . After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! It's a big club and you ain't in it. This is the best we can do folks. Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Ever. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. It doesnt only represent the good things. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. The planet is fine. You have no choice. Creative Commons. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. for(var i=0; i
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