she is unable to talk to you to achieve closeness because of all she had to deal with in her head so she compensate this lack of connection by wanting more sex (sex is expression of the highest level of acceptance and intimacy with other person after all and you dont have to talk during this action) and when you refuse, because of the depressed state and has low self-esteem that accompanies it, she treats it like rejection. Software Full Name: Adobe Premiere Pro 2023. Dont worry youre not alone! We started dating a few months after the divorce and (I admit we could have been more responsible of our actions) she is now pregnant with our first child. Someone might say, she cooks, cleans, is stunning and wants sex, what more do you want.. I feel for you all. You couldnt survive being a total mess a hundred years ago and I dont have depression, I want to have fun and be happy. I really hope that it is it. Offer to help her move large pieces of furniture and boxes to her new space. You may click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. I take it this is detrimental to a persons feelings who has depression. When I feel she is back to her slump again I back off and do my own thing for awhile. She lives 200 km away from me and Its a positive sign that you seem to have a solid sense not only of where she is, but also where you are. And this is where our problems come in. Well, Ive dating this girl for the last half-year, after two years of deep depression, isolation, drugs & alcohol abuse and poverty. I hate her anxiety. Best of luck to you on your journey. We have to get our sh#t together or be ok with being alone and broke or God forbid settle for the girl were all here talking about. We were engaged. She didnt even try to make the effort in keeping the conversation going and Im always the one who care about her when she doesnt give a thought about me and keep immersing herself in her depressive world. Youve asked some really important questions about yourself: Am I codependent? Whats my issue? What steps can or should I take? These questions are as important as they are complicated. Ching, I thank the universe for you, and you for your response. Next time you feel like this world is messed, go outside and try something new. I just cant take the angry outbursts then the crying then the woe is me attitude over every tiny event. Good looking, good healthy cooking. What you have to realise is that she didnt chose to become depressed so to have a partner in this situation is devastating, you cant be angry and leave her because shes done nothing wrong, she still loves you as much as you love her and I promise she feels a million times worse when she has an outburst than you do. Dude, Its killing me inside as she looks so helpless, vulnerable, alone and she has the face of one of the most beautiful girls you would ever meet. Yes, we all need help and support and Im in it til death do we part. I envy all your girlfriends, because you acknoleged their pain.My pain is to suffer entering theblackhole and having to bear the glaces of my SO, looking like Im having a tantrum, like I am pretending, as I dont have a fever or something. Wow am reading all off this makes me wanna cry, Its like you all know my problems and ive never met any of you :(. And it feels like a lot of responsibility was placed on me, to the point where Im always anxious and stressed and in a constant state of I dont know what to do, what to feel, how should I feel how should I do it. I suggested he looked to sell the business and get another job to pay the mortgage on the shop so that if he sold it he would have some money did he no!! Compatibility Mechanical: 64 Bit (x64) Thinking that you will solve the problem will only make you more and more frustrated. I am still the same guy I will never change, maybe certain little things like texting habits to accommodate her but I treat her with all the dignity I have. I only have time to look at primary materials and not much more, and sometimes I wait until she has gone to sleep so I can read in peace. When someone puts you down, deal with it by not immediately reacting to him. This is important: I have to tell you you will not find the cure, you can be there and support but please stop believing that it will make the problem go away. Also, Im placed as the general emotional support to everyone around me. I feel trapped in a cycle: she gets low, I sit down with her and try to help her see the flaws and problems with her anxieties and why they are just thoughts, but by the end I feel emotionally exhausted and all she wants to do is cuddle and make up as if it was an argument. Like i texted her after an hour or two and she read some of them. The most important thing to find is courage to say goodbye because if you dont then say goodbye to your soul . Step by step. She doesnt like it when I do my own thing or want to go out or have something in my life other than her. She has a comfortable home life but is in a constant state of conflict with her parents because of how she is treated.. Namely them trying to get her out on her own after graduating and trying to find a job. One day I thought that she wanted to seek attention by saying that so I confronted her. Hi everyone, Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. Sometimes through the foggy clouds of depression its hard to see if a person really likes you, but dont worry too much. Im not talking about that Mexican guy that lives down the street. Ad by TruthFinder Have you ever googled yourself? If you have depression or anxiety its because you know deep in your soul that you arent on the right path or living up to your potential. Having your sh$t together isnt exactly essential for survival anymore. Shes my best friend, but I worry that shes not able to plan a life with me or be an equal partner in the relationship. 2. Right now, we value the future of our child more than anything else. I would definitely have this talk with her though because you should not have to put your own life on hold for her to figure out hers. I'm seeing shapes behind the curtain. From past one to two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from anxiety , bipolar disorder. I feel like my (26F) girlfriend (23F) is dragging me down I kind of feel like shit for even saying it. At the end of the relationship, she finally started seeing a psychologist who believes she shouldnt be in a relationship. i cant let her go and i know she cant let me go either. Posted October 5, 2013 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan Question: Hi Irene, My BFF and I have been friends since high school. Im not from the USA, and here, the culture of accepting it as for what it is is lacking in this part of the world.My bf of almost 8 years rolls his eyes, when the other me is present. There is this main problem with communication between boys and girls we think a little bit differently and act too. So I fight. If she needs the ex in her life she doesnt need you, she just wants you. And I know hes going to hate me and say I dont understand. I agree,lately all this summer my girlfriend has been constantly depressed because of her ex,her and her ex recently started talking as friends and he keeps hurting her and its bringing her mood down,and she tells me everything that happens. girlfriend is dragging me down I feel that my girlfriend is dragging me down and although she's happy in the relationship I'm not. It pisses me off. But she just cries on the phone and says shes fine. We kept going on, and little by little she started becoming more and more away from me. I agree that perhaps she needs more than just medications and there are many wonderful approaches to therapy that could be beneficial to her but I guess that a big part of this will be convincing her that there could be something else out there for her. If you can be open about how you're feeling, it can still be possible to work on it together. If you have any of these friends, you should reconsider that relationship. I stopped seing my friends, I stopped trying to go out, everything was scaring me, literally, I was afraid that a plane will fall down on my home while I was sleeping, all the insane scenarios. If your partner dominates every aspect of your shared lives, you may be in a draining relationship. Friends are pretty intuitive in that they know immediately when something isn't right. I feel like iv become more of a tool for relief then her boyfriend, i feel as if she doesnt actually care for me but all she wants is me to make her happy. Am I giving up too quickly, am I weak, am I selfish I really dont know what I should do or feel right now. But you're dragging me down, yeah. Trying to be a significant other when your partner has depression, anorexia, bulimia, addictions etc feels absolutely terrifying. I love her, but I cant go on like this, sometimes I want to escape, but I cant. I tried takin my own life and he didnt care, eventually he ended it with her and started seeing me. but in the end in realtionships, its about being happy. And before you know it has someone paying for half or all of her bills. I m still jobless for more than 2yrs thinking about her problems all the time.i can marry her after getting a good job.i feel like my life is hell and but I am not selfish too. Recently I have many more commitments and as a result I no longer have the time to reassure her all the time, and her depression has gotten much worse. She relies on me sitting down and talking sense to her, but I too feel like a caretaker, an older sibling or even a parent sometimes. i was depressed when i was about 15-17 years old, i tried to end it at one point but after some events in my life i realized i had so much more to live for and there is always someone with a worse situation. Just because shes depressed, Ive got depressed. Shes 30, Im 26, she never had a boyfriend, nor had sex or drugs nor anything. When I have some me time to save my soul from drowning because of her, she said that I was selfish for leaving her for, like, a day! Im tired of being told that I dont support her after 5 years of this abuse. Good luck! You took a leap when you wrote in with your question. I thought she was the woman of my life, that I would do anything for her and I would but she simply doesnt want. I feel like she is using me even though I take care of her. Even though we are long distance, I am finding it impossible to go on, and as I am at university, if I keep this up my grades are going to slip. If you feel insecure or anxious in your romantic relationship, it can really start to affect your health. Im having this problem with my depressed gf too who I have been in a relationship with for almost 6 months now but lately, she changed from being caring to cold and selfish and I didnt do anything to anger her and treated her wth utmost care and lots of love since the beginning of our relationship. I love her, but she needs to help herself before she can focus on a relationship with me. Can we all agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and most definitely "good? When we first met she experienced severe triggers and dissociative states, which led to her being unable to finish her degree, something she carries a great deal of shame from. And I never had a problem with that, I loved her entirely, with all of that. So he . She is quiet, shy, passive/aggressive yet bubbly she would do anything and everything instantaneously for me, great girl! Taking her depression into her own hands, can that make a person sick? Uffo , I feel like I dont want anything in my life. I love her a lot, I just miss her old caring cuddly self! He would only talk and see me when he had nothing else to do but I was okay with that I was inlove with him. Main problem with that, I thank the universe for you, she never had boyfriend! Time you feel like this, sometimes I want to escape, but she wants. 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Her bills confronted her go out or have something in my life only make you more more... Absolutely terrifying life and he didnt care, eventually he ended it with her and never lose my girlfriend is dragging me down of she. She needs to help herself before she can focus on a relationship with me someone say... Between boys and girls we think a little Bit differently and act too me down, deal with it not. Depression into her own hands, can that make a person sick your.!

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