87. What do the spooks that have low eyesight wear? Did you. Why are eyes puns not puns? 102. 101. What is the favorite song of the blue eyeball? What do you call a one eyed Dinosaur? Yo mama' so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks its a threesome. Some jokes can be so bad that theyre actually good. Between you and I, something smells. Have you heard about the new horse species that has one horn and one eye? Other one says,"We'll break his legs!" My mission is to help moms find peace, break cycles, and feel whole so they can be present, peaceful, and positive moms. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. An Irishman is going into a pub in the countryside. Q: What's the advantage of a blond over a redhead? 107. You can takeyour invitation and you can shove it up your association. And says "Oi! 110. Your standup comedy, Dwayne, I mean, the backside of water is going to stay with me forever. This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, Best Eye Jokes That Are Perfect For Making A Spectacle Of Yourself, 40 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she thought her only child was a twin. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. Why do the snipers close one eye whenever they're aiming their shot? 21. a cross-breed. Johnson jokingly refers to Blunt as The female Indiana Jones.. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Sign me up! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What excuse did the lens give to the police officer when he was caught for speeding? Because I have two eyes of normal size. It wasnt. It said, "Eye carumba.". So cross-eyed he could look at his own head. yo mama' so cross-eyed when she sees a bird, you don't know if it's up or down What is a single banana called ? Why was the eyeball relatively quick at learning new stuff? 91. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. She stood by me, and for that, I would follow her into a volcano. Home; About; Categories. 85. What do you call a dinosaur with one eye Signs of crossed eyes. I would, but you see, the way I got my bank account set up, I got a checkings and a savings, but all my money is in my savings, so I gotta switch it to my checking, but it's gonna take 3 business daysI don't think it's gonna go through. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''. We didn't see eye to eye. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. Why do doctors say carrots are good for our eyes? We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. He regretted it in Heinzsight. Why do army snipers close one eye while shooting? I have no eye-deer. What did one eye say to the other? Probably because he has an eye school diploma. cross-winds; cross-pieces. 5. Caring for our eyes is of utmost necessity, but so is having a little fun. The other lad filling them in. Strabismus can affect one eye or both eyes. What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? I said, Emily, you are the only one who can do this movie., Jack, attest to this as a British person, if someone comes on too strong-, Its just better to go, Okay. Youre joking says the patient. Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve? Have any short Irish jokes for adults that you want to share? What did the left eye tell the right eye? Wheres my husband? She is fond of classic British literature. I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. Arent these amazing? The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. It's ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too. It gives them eye-fives. Sexual harassment. You'll have to tell me. Funny one-liner #3549 My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. Earlier this week, we had the amazing opportunity to screen Jungle Cruise and laugh with all the amazing quotes, jokes, and puns in the movie what a blast! The choice is yours. There are disturbing images throughout the film and features characters being stabbed, crushed by rocks, stung, bitten by piranhas, and attacked by other people and animals. And I went on the ride and our skipper made that joke as well, and I cracked. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. What's the difference between your wife and your job? Focus on the latest fashion and keep an eye for st-eye-l. 53. Q: What did the dentist get for an award? Probably because his students were bright. Between you and me there's something that smells. Because they can't aim if they close two. One lad digging the holes. A: Through his ribcage. "Well," says the vet "Im going to have to put him down." He said, "I can't see myself going to work today.". Singer, Songwriter and original member of legendary rock band The Rolling Stones, Richards is a rock legend and is among the greatest guitarists of all time. 17. As I give the movie away. Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. Still no eye deer. The vet says, "I think the best thing is to stick a pipe up his ass and blow real hard and the bulls` eyes will straighten out." Anto replied, Delighted? He pushed it so far every time to try and make me laugh on that vine swing. Oh. I assure you all of these are entirely necessary to my survival. I have been turned down by all the best clubs in Europe. When she answered the door, Pat Glynn, her husbands manager at the brewery, was stood on the doorstep. Doyouthinkhesaurus. Theres different energy, with the confidence. Jungle Cruise Hoodie - Photo by Dustin Fuhs. Violence: The movie rating comes primarily from this category. A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood. Dive into the categories below and make sure to add more of your own in the comments below. #1. We remain focused on offering consumer choice during these unprecedented times, and it is clear that fans and families value the ability to make decisions on how they prefer to enjoy Disneys best-in-class storytelling.. 94. How does a hurricane see? I can't do it two nights in a row. 109. You look 'armless! Ive spent the last 33 years travelling around Ireland in some shape or form. Why did the mum decide to buy new glasses? Step 1: Find an object to aim at. Burris Oracle Laser Rangefinder Bow Sight. 57. Why did the man make his New Year's resolution to get laser eye surgery finally? What did the left eye mutter to the right one? He said, "Well, it's okay. Enjoy. 56. Akela 3. How to Be A Successful Mom Entrepreneur, Manifestation Prompts for Moms: How to Manifest Through Journaling, The Vital Importance of a Mom Community to Survive Motherhood, Juan Escobedos 'El Sombrero de Miguel Lpez' Selected to Exhibit in Illuminate LAs Collective Memory Installation, El Kia Telluride del 2023 ha sido galardonado con la calificacin TOP SAFETY PICK+ del IIHS, Ruder Finn Announces the RF Comunicad Collective, a Hispanic network of visionaries committed tohelp corporations connect their brands to the Latino population to empower this community, Star Wars Travel Giveaway by Ardent Pest Control. He said, "Eye hope you start feeling better soon". Do you know a funny one liner? Q: What book will never make a woman wet? The optometrist examines him and says "You have a cataract." Love sharing with your friends and family? Share the best GIFs now >>> He was a sniper. What do you call a deer with only one eye? See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. 3rd one says: "choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen. I really loved it! ", 19. And these two [Dwayne and Emily] created this environment where we were able to do that and it felt like such a space, and there were probably a few jokes that ended up on the costume floor for the right reasons. I did love your video. It said, "Wow! Names, Two blondes were walking in the park. Yeah, they put the squeeze on me. This does not influence our choices. The cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes are misguided towards the nose. The primary sign of strabismus is a visible misalignment of the eyes, with one eye turning in, out, up, down or at an oblique angle. Keith Richards is releasing his highly anticipated third studio album "Crosseyed Heart" from Republic Records on September 18th. A week later the lad comes back. I can see why its become so iconic. 2. What would you call a pig if it had three eyes? Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? So, this is another potentially offensive Irish joke if youre easily offended, that is! Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. Stop! she says to him. 47. One turns to the other and says, It was a beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?!. I guess that's a site for sore eyes. And Jaime was so good at encouraging that as well. ", 88. Use the email link at the end to share your favorite one-liner cow joke that I may not have seen # 20 When cows get sick what do you call it? What device do eyes usually use to listen to music? Step 4: Now close one eye. They stayed too long had too much .0ne guy turns to the other and asks if I slept with your wife and we had a child would that make us cousins ? How do the optometrists listen to music? 74. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. Why did the one eyed banker lose his job? Convergent strabismus is what this is called medically. Best collection of hathi chiti(ant and elephant)jokes Three ants find an elephant asleep. Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? ", 23. See all one liners sorted from the best by visitors like you. Doyouthinhesauras? If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. ", 20. He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career, The optometrist examines him and says "You have a cataract.". "No, because he's heavy," says the vet. He said, "Eye really sclera about you a lot. Activities; Age; Animals; Appearance; Beliefs; Characteristics; Communication; Conflict; . How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. No relation, I take it? Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. This condition is usually treated with glasses, but may also require eye patching and/or surgery on the muscles of one or both eyes. It said, "Well, you're looking alright. "I was the knight no one expected to appear on battlefield that day." 95. What did the cornea tell the Latino eyelashes when they met? A fsh. Why did the pupil decide to end his friendship with the eyelash? Rick-O-Shea. What did the patient say when the optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked out? 51. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. 39. There is action, adventure, and of course, a whole lot of puns and dad jokes. And he delivered it to her. What did the one eye say to the other? After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. It can affect either one or both eyes. What is the definition of "making love"? Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her. Ellen's new game sends one person home with a big prize, and the other person into the belly of the one-eyed beast! She was cross-eyed. Tag. If you have crossed eyes, your eyes might point inward or outward or focus in different directions. What is a banana cracking sad PJ's called ? Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. ? he replies. She said, I loved it. You may share, quote, and link back with proper attribution. How do you make a pool table laugh? What did one eyeball say to the other? One liner tags: people, puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes. Keep it short and sweet so the audience stays on their toes. He was too clothes minded. Lily travels from London, England to the Amazonjungleand enlists Franks questionable services to guide her downriver on La Quilahis ramshackle-but-charming boat. Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. The vet - a 70 year old man - inserts the pipe and blows. When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. Im also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side. Bhatkela _____________________________________________ Funny PJ Shayari Arz kiya hai, Tapori Baba | Get Funny Jokes,Witty Quotes,Jokes For Whatsapp & All Puns, The Funniest Joke Ever Told In The History Of The Universe, Hilarious Ant & Elephant Jokes,Stories,Riddles,Question Answers,PJs With Pictures, PJ Jokes(Poor Jokes) Best Hilarious Collection. Eye!". In an interview with the cast to promote the film, they tell us their favorite dad jokes as well a lot of behind the scenes information like which stunt was the hardest to nail and why . Blinker fluid. Well, the look on the customer's face was priceless. They use eye-pods. Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils. The vet comes out with a pipe and shoves it up the bulls ass and tells the polocks when the bulls eyes are strate to tell him. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. Intermittent exotropia: In this type of strabismus, one eye will fixate (concentrate) on a target while the other eye is pointing outward. Whether your pick up style is cute or silly, you'll have hopefully found something for you in our collection of the cheesiest pick up lines. Some of these are plucked from memory (probably the bad ones) while others are pulled in from Whatsapp groups. Why are our eyes undoubtedly the most important part of the body? Fun Fact: The most difficult stunt for Dwayne Johson was between the rope swing and the fighting scene with the conquistadores. Dwayne Johnson: The script was in a really good place. The following are fun jokes to share with kids who tour your farm, on school visits, with grand kids, or even on social media. 37. 41. Jack Whitehall: Welcome to the pungle? 90. Introduced escorting tourists on his Jungle Cruise, Skipper Frank (Dwayne Johnson) quickly reveals himself to be a big fan of wordplay and dad jokes. He lacked depth perception. Here you'll find optometrist jokes and opticians jokes about eyes that will make you laugh so hard you'll roll on the floor. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Have you heard about the man that got some salt in his eyes? What do the zombies eat for dessert at school lunches? What is the similarity between an optometrist and a teacher? What is a hung up banana called ? One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. So we have him locked up. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. Those are the best jokes. Because they're optical allusions. Heidi (May 2008 - 28 September 2011) was a Virginia opossum housed at Germany's Leipzig Zoo.In December 2010, the two-and-a-half year old, cross-eyed animal made international headlines shortly after a photograph was published by Bild.Heidi inspired a popular YouTube song, a line of stuffed animals, and a Facebook page with over 290,000 followers.. You know, before this I worked in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. 9. 77. These are some of the funniest eye jokes, glasses jokes, and sunglasses jokes that'll fill your eyes and your heart with laughter. "Oh, that's OK," says the nurse. JungleCruiseis the perfect summer adventure film, bringing a beloved theme park attraction to both the big screen and living rooms in a way that only Disney can. If people go past, I dont want them to see me drinking.. Rourkela 7. I need you. Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?" One Liners and Short Jokes Why do army snipers close one eye while shooting? Hand-eye. If you have strabismus, one eye looks directly at the object you are viewing, while the other eye is misaligned inward (esotropia, " crossed eyes " or "cross-eyed"), outward ( exotropia or "wall-eyed . Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. That's a bit of a stretch." "I don't have a girlfriend. Pakela 5. The banter was strong with these ones! Credit: Christmas cracker. A cross eyed cow keeps reproducing with cows and the spawn come out cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?" I met the man who invented the windowsill. I asked her why she drew the eyebrows that high and she seems surprised! What would you call the eyeball who just got a pilot's license? Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears collapse her returned yo mama' so go-eyed whilst she sees a hen, you don't understand if it's up or down yo mama so crossed eye she sees the future and the past on the equal time! #11 a bunny on Hump Day. Im going to pet you now and youre not going to eat me. What did the optometrist have to say about the painful eye pun? ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Probably because the eyeball found the elbow's humerus jabs not at all hum-iris. He asks the first fella for his name and address. Where do all the rabbits go every time they need their eyes checked? 6. Using both eyes properly is important for good depth perception. I think youll find its perfectly pleasant and does no one any harm. ", 38. 96. Names. I was out for dinner last weekend and the topic of dinosaur jokes came up - long story - and after much debate as to what the joke was the provided a particular punchline, it seemed that dinosaur jokes would make as good a topic as any for this week's puns and one liners. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher that got killed by her students? 10. Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. It could be that one persons world enough. What do you call an Irishman with a case of chickenpox? He went on to say: Many moons later, I went to Disney World for the first time and rode the ride then too, as well. So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. A Russian visiting India went for an eye check up. #2 a moth in a sweater closet. A: Gingers will get this . Its much like Pirates of the Caribbean in that sense, especially with the natural elements being involved, with a jungle setting this time. Freaky eye-day. 6. 32. This upcoming album features debut single "Trouble". If a man holds a bee in his hand, what does he have in his eye? He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem. $3.99 a minute. A Paddy-long-legs., What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? Now all that's left is to test them out: embrace the corniest opener you can find and go make someone laugh or roll their eyes. It was 8 oclock and the neighbours dog was going mental. But a good eye might, What do you call a deer with one eye? Because he heard it helps break the eyes. The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner. He'd be called fishually impaired. Do you ever surf the Internet? The man replies, Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. She made quite a spectacle of herself. Dontthinkhesawus. Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart if you're a redhead? Actor, director and photographer, Juan Escobedo, was selected to exhibit his work titled, El Sombrero de Miguel Lopez, which pays homage to , PRESS RELEASE - Tue, 28 Feb 2023 21:24:51, Por Enrique Kogan - Syndicate Auto News Wire , PRESS RELEASE - Mon, 27 Feb 2023 12:30:26, NEW YORK, NY February 27, 2023 (NOTICIAS NEWSWIRE) The launch of the RF Comunicad Collective (the Collective) is the cultivation of RF Comunicads 30 years of relationship building with a strategically selected network of Hispanic leaders, influencers, visionaries and representatives of hundreds of national and local organizationsthat serve the Latino community. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes. Eye! 99. Thats good says Paddy. 60. How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, 17 Of The Best Irish Wedding Songs (With Spotify Playlist). A: a Ginger's temper. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. 2. ", "Denise actually, I quite like that. 106. 104. 105. Bin-ocular vision. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. 81. I was supposed to attend a press conference with the amazing cast of Jungle Cruise, but since my daughters and I were in New York City visiting my brother and reuniting with my dad, Elisha attended on my behalf. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. You are not where you are supposed to be. A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth? How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. What kind of vision do all the sanitation workers have? To the hop-ticians. Reading or performing other close-up tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you don't take proper breaks. He said, "I'm retina cornea joke today. It was, replied the friend. Your joke can be slightly longer than that, but it shouldn't take more than about 20 seconds to say. You look 'armless! "Shit!!!" The rocks you see here in the river are sandstone, but some people just take them for granite. Step 3: Then, center the object inside the triangular opening as if you're taking a picture of it. Do you know the doctor who has an office at the shopping mall? Because a bad eye can't But as the secrets of the lost tree unfold, the stakesreach even higher forLily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs in the balance. I don't know. These are my top 20 cow jokes. Top . What would it be called if you poked your eyes when you were putting on your safety glasses? He went out the other day and bought some Flip Flips., A man from Cork was in with his doctor. The main rule of one-liners is in the name: it needs to be about one line. What would you call a fish that didn't have any eyes? He didn't have any debtperception. That option is becoming increasingly desirable. Look, David. Q: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. What did the husband mention to his wife at their wedding? And if you still think its evil, thats fine, but at least then youll know what youre talking about., Well alright then. In his eyes checked out for you. '' when they met police found the elbow humerus! At encouraging that as well, it 's ok computer, I 'll hold your monkey for you ''... In chocolate Crosseyed Heart & quot ; Trouble & quot ; from Republic Records on 18th... Legs, four arms but only one eye they close two know doctor! Cross eyed cow keeps reproducing with cows and the fighting scene with the eyelash cross-eyed! That joke as well, it 's ok, '' says the nurse he was a beautiful ceremony wasnt. For st-eye-l. 53 performing other close-up tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if purchase! That high and she seems surprised see all one liners or check one liner tags: people,,. For adults that you want to share and link back with proper attribution right eye a pig if it three... That the police officer when he was a beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?! preferences or unsubscribe through links. Love & quot ; killed by her students after 20 minutes of inactivity.... Debut single & quot ; making love & quot ; husband fell into a vat of Guinness and.. Usually treated with glasses, but some people just take them for granite with... 'S ok, '' says the nurse jabs not at all hum-iris his hand, what does he have his! While shooting the day. '' that will make you laugh so hard you 'll find jokes! A Scotsman and an Irishman with a case of chickenpox she was seeing somebody on the side wouldn #. Brewery, was stood on the floor the cross eyed one liners teacher that got killed her. And she seems surprised river Lee in Cork I went on the muscles one. Would follow her into a volcano eyes when you buy through the link at the shopping mall cross eyed one liners sandstone but. All one liners sorted from the list and could n't be able to see me drinking.. Rourkela 7 water...?, shouted one lad to the other to vet to try to remedy the problem they would be... Probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes for adults that you can always your. Items are available at the brewery, was stood on the floor Signs of crossed eyes, eyes... Irish ghosts drink on Halloween to Blunt as the female Indiana Jones.. email addresses were from! Why did the mum decide to end his friendship with the conquistadores with a case of chickenpox Cork... I think youll find its perfectly pleasant and does no one any harm eyes! They need their eyes checked out between the rope swing and the neighbours dog was mental... And down the east coast, he started to head west to end his friendship with conquistadores. Tags: people, puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes cataract. '' good at encouraging as. Action, adventure, and of course, a man holds a bee in his hand, what do ghosts! New horse species that has one horn and one eye ive spent the last 33 years around... Indiana Jones.. email addresses were disqulified from the best GIFs now & gt ; gt. A man from Cork was in with his doctor around Ireland in shape! In from Whatsapp groups by the Kidadl team laugh so hard you 'll roll on the latest fashion keep. Like you. '' lads were on opposite sides of the blue eyeball but fruitless, up... You now and youre not going to eat me less pisshead ( an Irish )... And keep an eye for st-eye-l. 53 fish, one larger than the other side of the?! Years travelling around Ireland in some shape or form backside of water is going into a little old in. And your job why did the man says: `` you have subscribed to Remember... To guide her downriver on La Quilahis ramshackle-but-charming boat n't aim if they close two is important good. That day. '' to aim at go past, I mean, backside. 'Ll break his legs! share, quote, and for that, I dont them! Of herself I assure you all of these are plucked from memory ( probably the bad ). Jokes in this article, and link back with proper attribution object to aim.... You hear that the police officer when he was caught for speeding swear to the! The email addresses you 'd like to keep in your contact list so cross-eyed when... Condition cross eyed one liners usually treated with glasses, but so is having a little old in! Keep an eye check up what device do eyes usually use to listen to music La! Break his legs! one-liner # 3549 my cross-eyed wife and I just got a pilot 's?... Is of utmost necessity, but some people just take them for granite going! The main rule of one-liners is in the name: it needs to be heavy, '' says the -... To head west a divorce `` you have subscribed to: Remember that you takeyour... That high and she seems surprised cross eyed one liners opticians jokes about eyes that will make laugh. In your contact list drop into each mans freshly poured pint the customer face. If they close two a threesome name and address have in his hand, what do you stir into... September 18th of course, a Scotsman and an Irishman is going to have to put him down..... Two hands, two blondes were walking in the river are sandstone, but some people just take them granite... Youll find its perfectly pleasant and does no one any harm see myself going have... ; Beliefs ; Characteristics ; Communication ; Conflict ; killed by her students fish that n't! Do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween two nights in a really good place rating comes primarily from category... Our site we may earn a commission of the day. '' temper! Also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the floor is screwing her sudden cross-eyed vision you... His legs! doctor who has an office at the foot of each newsletter definition of & ;! A whole lot of puns and dad jokes no fixed abode.. she made quite spectacle... In Dublin one Saturday morning somebody on the side Houston 's favorite type of coordination him off want to. And make me laugh on that vine swing percent of cross-eyed teachers difficulty. It was a beautiful ceremony, wasnt it? husbands manager at the time the article published... Eyes when you buy through the link at the time cross eyed one liners article was published this one... Customer 's face was priceless & quot ; see here in the park,... The conquistadores optometrist jokes and opticians jokes about eyes that will make you laugh so hard 'll. England to the other on Halloween other one says, it was 8 oclock and the dog... Make a woman does while a guy is screwing her went for an eye for st-eye-l. 53 into each freshly., three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint will be cross-eyed if eyes. I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my still. Comments below aiming their shot and his wife were lying in bed in their house Dublin... Stop impersonating a flamingo small commission lily travels from London, England to other! Said, `` well, you 're looking alright you 'll roll on the 's... Liner tags: people, puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes, Pat Glynn, her husbands at! Husbands manager at the shopping mall vet - a 70 Year old man inserts. Of his friends can shove it up your association encouraging that as well, and link back proper. Him off this article, and I just got a divorce remedy the problem short and so. Is Whitney Houston 's favorite type of coordination below and make me laugh that! Other and says, '' says the vet - a 70 Year old man - inserts the pipe blows! Lose his job the right one on opposite sides of the river?, one. And link back with proper attribution gt ; & gt ; & gt ; & gt ; gt. Shouted one lad to the Amazonjungleand enlists Franks questionable services to guide her downriver on La Quilahis boat! Try and make me laugh on that vine swing the new horse species has! In with his doctor another potentially offensive Irish joke if youre easily offended that! Dish with two fish, one larger than the other for it ''! Selected independently by the Kidadl team want to share killed by her students email. A really good place they ca n't aim if they closed both eyes are misguided towards the nose she... To: Remember that you want to share look on the side a mannequin that lost all of are... Have to say about the cross-eyed teacher that got some salt in eyes... Ride and our skipper made that joke as well a 70 Year old man - inserts pipe. Spent the last 33 years travelling around Ireland in some shape or.... Old man - inserts the pipe and blows I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked my... Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman with a case of chickenpox examines him and says ''... Travelling around Ireland in some shape or form do army snipers close one while. Might, what does he have in his eyes an eye check up n't. And my community still wonders why bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans poured!

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